When I was a child, I used to keep drawing for a long time almost every day. As an asthmatic child I often had to be inside. That's why I did a lot of drawings. I needed to express my feelings, sadness, frustration...
I still remember my kindergarten teacher telling us how to use water colour paints. I was really amazed and excited by mixing colours and creating new ones on my palms. I couldn't stop doing it. I fell in love with colours. It was the first pure experience of using and feeling joy through colours and doing art. I have enjoyed it ever since.
In 1998 I went to the Findhorn Foundation, an intentional community in North-East Scotland. I feel my life was changed by this place. I had some interesting experiences there. In July 1999 I did the 'Healing Through Art' course. I enjoyed it so much! Like I experienced it as a child. I painted from early morning until late in the evening. My passion for art was opened again.
I also enjoyed the 'Essence of the Arts' programme towards the end of that year. It was difficult. I couldn't enjoy being in that group, but I discovered the potential of oil pastels. I had never used them seriously, yet I found it exciting to use them in many different ways - mix colours, make layers, and then scratch them. I used them a lot on black paper. I was going through a difficult emotional time and I wanted to strongly express my pain on paper. That's how I came to explore oil pastels, by 'accident'. In my case, it worked well to release emotions, and I could again remember the joy of doing art like a child.
In September 2000 I went back to the Foundation. I started doing the 'Artist's Way' and kept writing 'morning pages' for more than three months. It really helped me to live more consciously than before. I also began to be conscious of being an artist. I repeated the exercises at least twice. Then I started the Foundation's Student Year Programme (FYP) in March 2001. My year's purpose was 'I intend to know and express myself "who I really am" through art'. I commited myself to doing art throughout the year.
Once I had difficulty with my artistic work. I wanted to bring Spirit into it but wasn't able to paint at all. I was trying, but finally gave up. When I started reading 'Friendship with God' I had an insight - 'I am Life. Life is God'. I found I didn't need to be good and holy to create divine paintings. I just needed to recognise that I could be myself to do it, and I could start painting again. I had an exhibition at the end of my FYP year, as my completion. It was a great experience. I also found that art was really a good tool for me to heal.
Currently I am a resident member at the Findhorn Foundation.
Naomi
